Homecoming Three – San Francisco

When Jerel and I left Shanghai with our possessions in tow, we didn’t know what to call home. Thankfully, our friends and family consistently opened their homes to us, reminding us that in fact we have not one but many homes. We kicked off our third homecoming with an action-packed weekend including an evening at Alicia & Christian’s new home in Berkeley, a forested hike to Barnabe Peak (Marin County) with Jed and the girls, and a visit with the Poppers in San Francisco. We had a busy but satisfying week, catching up with friends, working (Jerel) and preparing for Brussels (Chana). Just as we were beginning to feel settled again, it was time to pack our bags for our new home… Brussels.

Homecoming Two - Malibu

Our next stop was Malibu, where we visited with family and with as many local friends as we could squeeze in over a week. Among the many fun memories are: Guesstures with the Davises and Shores (women won!); day trip to San Diego - helping Josh keep his cool following the mysterious disappearance of his truck (an illegal tow) and cooking up a storm at Jan’s place; visiting the Getty museum with Tyson on a glorious ‘winter’ day; meeting Emily and Chad’s son for the first time; and moving day with Cyndi – beginning with moving furniture from Malibu to Pasadena and culminating in six firetrucks swarming her new house (long story…no major damage!). Never a dull moment, that’s for sure!

New Year’s Among Giants

From icy Vancouver, we migrated south to San Francisco en route to our New Year’s destination – Sequoia National Park. We road-tripped to Sequoia in comfort and style, thanks to the latest addition to the Deans’ fleet of bargain buys, a snazzy Dodge Caravan. We ventured on daily hikes amidst the magnificent sequoias, and as always, the Deans impressed us by not letting the kids slow them down – as if snowshoeing isn’t hard enough, try doing it with a 3 year old on your back! The Davises (Steve, Janet and Cyndi) joined us for New Year’s and we greeted 2009 with plenty of good food and good cheer. The rest of the week was filled with more beautiful snowy hikes, this time with the Davises, who also deserve accolades…Janet asked only that we keep her dry and get her home before dark yet kept her cool when we failed on both accounts on day one!

Homecoming One - Vancouver

After bidding a bittersweet farewell to Shanghai, Jerel and I arrived in Vancouver for the first of several homecomings. Vancouver felt completely deserted compared to Shanghai, and we eagerly soaked in the open space and the ‘sound’ of silence. We were also both struck by how much easier life is when you can understand everything going on around you, and know the rules of engagement. Although it was a real treat to communicate freely in English, I have to admit that my ears perked up whenever I heard Mandarin spoken around me (not that I let on!).

We soon headed up to Whistler for few days of unusually chilly, snowless ‘skiing’ (and socializing), returning to the city just in time for a spectacular snowfall, bringing one of the whitest Christmases I can remember! Jerel built goodwill with his in-laws with his snow-shoveling prowess and ability to drive coolly on unplowed roads (unlike a certain truck driver who hit our (parked) borrowed car!). A definite highlight of the trip was an improvised toboggan session with all the sibs and significant others (except Ami’s Mana) - see Ami's Facebook page for a video!

Top Ten Things I WON'T Miss About Shanghai

1. Incessant noise – Outside the sanctuary of our apartment, quiet was very hard to come by in Shanghai. Most of the time my ears were inundated with the sounds of honking horns, noisy scooters and lively debate.


2. Aggressive drivers – Pedestrians are the lowest life form on the streets of Shanghai. Even on a green walk sign, it was normal for cars to cut right in front of pedestrians, even honking at them for getting in their way. It wasn’t much more fun to be a passenger - I had quite a few near heart-attacks as we wove our way across lanes of traffic at high speeds with no seatbelts.


3. Lack of green – By the end of the week, I was inevitably climbing the concrete walls, scheming of a green getaway…somewhere I could walk or jog in peace, hear birds chirping and see squirrels scampering.


4. Relentless solicitations – My most frequently uttered Mandarin phrase was ‘Bu Yao’ – translation: “Not want”. The touristy streets by our hotel were full of overzealous vendors of fake goods and shoe-shiners who would go as far as squirting cream on your shoe. Apparently, when I wasn’t around, Jerel received other solicitations as well…


5. Crowds – People, people, everywhere! Whether on the street, in the mall, in the metro, it seemed I was always fighting for personal space. On the streets I had to fight to not be knocked over by other pedestrians who seemed to always expect me to get out of their way instead of vice versa.


6. Language barrier – Despite my rudimentary mandarin, I still suffered occasionally on account of the language barrier, especially with taxi drivers taking me far from the destination that I thought I had clearly pronounced.


7. Tiresome bargaining – A little bargaining can be fun, but it becomes quite tiresome when virtually every purchase involves a long, drawn out exchange. To make matters worse, I often left the exchange feeling that I had probably been taken for a ride, while the vendor was trying to convince me of the opposite!


8. Rigid rules/processes – While the service industry always had the best intentions, it seemed that process often trumped outcome. My best example here is that when we lost our ATM card, we were unable to withdraw money from the bank in person, even with a passport. We could, however, fill in a form for a new card to be ready in a week!


9. Unpleasant odours – Sometimes, walking down the street, an innocent inhale could turn into a very unpleasant olfactory experience. I’m sure that this is not unique to unique to Shanghai but it’s nonetheless something I don’t/won’t miss!


10. Feeling huge – I was told matter-of-factly more than once that I was “too big” or that large would not do, I would need extra large!

Top Ten Things I WILL Miss About Shanghai

1. New friends – Thanks to expat events, hotel parties and mandarin classes, Jerel and I eventually made quite a few new friends Shanghai. Foremost among them was ‘Shanghai Karen’, a fellow ‘trailing spouse’ who I met in the fall and quickly became my partner in crime in exploring Shanghai.


2. Guanxi – The mandarin word, ‘guanxi’ is translated roughly as ‘relationship’. I built ‘guanxi’ with the owner of a small shop across from our hotel where I bought fruit and drinks and was always greeted with an enthusiastic grin. ‘Guanxi boy’ never forgot the 500 RMB phone card we bought in the first week and never gave up hoping that we'd buy another one! I also had guanxi with the woman at the ‘wet market’ where I bought my fresh vegetables nearly daily. She always seemed so genuinely happy to see me, knew my preferences and often threw in bonus green onions or cilantro. The woman next to her also knew me well - one day when her neighbor was out of edamame, she grinned and swiftly unloaded all of hers on me!


3. Speaking mandarin – I loved the thrill of communicating in a language that seemed so overwhelming upon our arrival, and the smile it always seemed to elicit in the locals with whom I dared to utter a few phrases.


4. People watching – All I had to do for entertainment was take a walk – the streets were always buzzing with activity and the parks were full of all sorts of people absorbed in tai-chi or card games. I don't doubt that I provided just as much entertainment in return!


5. Weekly massages – Massages were so inexpensive that Jerel and I developed a habit of indulging in a relaxing Chinese or shiatsu massage after a hard week’s work (for him)…it was fun while it lasted!


6. Fine dining – Shanghai has a remarkable selection of fine international cuisine at reasonable prices…something we definitely took advantage of. Many of the restaurants offered not only great cuisine but a great view as well. Did I mention that Shanghai has amazing Sunday brunches?


7. Cheap goods – From the ‘copymart’ to ‘Dagu Lu’ to the ‘Fabric Market’, the bargains to be had in Shanghai are endless. DVDs, silk, pearls, clothing…all can be found at incredible prices. My favourite value was custom cashmere…I only regret that I didn’t take advantage of this find!


8. Cheap taxis – At one to two dollars a pop, and almost always available (except in the rain) it was easy to get used to taking taxis everywhere, even if the rides could be a tad hair-raising.


9. New food favourites – I didn’t get hooked on traditional Chinese food, but I did adopt a few new favourites - juicy pomelos, freshly steamed and salted edamame and ‘five spice’ mock meat to name a few. I also discovered ‘milk’ oolong tea…deeelicious!


10. Our hotel apartment – I must confess that I thoroughly enjoyed my introduction to the pampered lifestyle of serviced hotel apartments. The best feature of our cozy 25th floor apartment was the spectacular view of sprawling Shanghai’s mix of skyscrapers and lane houses – a view that was even more impressive from the 40th floor lounge. The best part, however, was the amazing front desk staff led by Kitty, who were always eager to help with everything from translations to cooking tips.

Zaijian Shanghai

Jerel and I packed our bags and left Shanghai on December 15, wrapping up an exhilerating six months in China. We both left feeling very grateful to have had the opportunity to experience and learn about this remarkable culture. While I couldn't see myself living in Shanghai long term, I highly recommend visiting this throbbing international metropolis, and to do so sooner rather than later. With a growing population of more than 18 million and a relentless pace of building, today's magnificently diverse Shanghai may not be recognizable for much longer!